Self help for people who’ve committed sexual offences or are worried that they might

Living with Pedophilia OCD

Pedophilia OCD, or POCD, is a subset of OCD in which a sufferer has unwanted harmful or sexual thoughts about children. This subtype often results in panic, anguish, shame and depression. People living with POCD have no desire to harm a child, yet they’re tormented by thoughts of doing so.

Path for Men

A digital recovery community providing specialized, empathetic, compassionate, therapy and online courses to overcome unwanted sexual behaviors, help men recover from sexually based addictions and compulsive behavour, and repair damaged relationships.

An Intensive Online Workshop Designed for Those Who Want to Live Life in Recovery

“Can People with Pedophilia Change?: Yes they can!” Article by Paul Fedoroff


Full internet ban for sex offenders ruled unlawful

Step Inside the Circle

“What we have in prisons are the most traumatised people in our society” Gabor Mate

Unaddressed childhood trauma changes how we respond to the world and when triggered, we make choices that sometimes have devastating consequences including domestic violence, addiction, murder and prison.
There is an ACE’s (Adverse Chidlhood Experiences) Quiz on their website.

Pornography affects the brain


Apparently it’s for any behaviour that is causing problems/distress and some young adults have found it helpful.

Androgen deprivation therapy (ADT) appears to benefit men with pedophilic disorder, according to a recent Journal of Sexual Medicine study.

Past research has suggested that limiting androgens, such as testosterone, might lower the risk of recidivism in sex offenders.  To this end, ADT aims to reduce the amount of androgens, including testosterone, in the body. Past research has shown that this approach, combined with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) had been helpful in the treatment of sex offenders with paraphilic disorders. ADT is generally accomplished in one of two ways:

  • Anti-androgen therapy involves the use of medroxyprogesterone acetate (MPA) and cyproterone acetate (CPA), administered as a daily pill.
  • LHRH (luteinizing hormone-releasing hormone) agonists, administered as intramuscular or subcutaneous injections every 12 weeks. Read more here

The Dangers of Pornography by rapist and serial killer

Ted Bundy was executed for the rape and murder of 30 women. This is the conversation he had the night before he was executed, in 1989, with Dr James Dobson where he describe the dangers of pornography.

Viewing Child Abuse Images: Paedophile or Addicted to Porn? by Julie Newberry

Getting a DBS Check

Apply for a BASIC DBS check directly to through the government website
N.B. Self-employed people can’t apply for ENHANCED DBS check themselves and need to use a third party.  This is from the government website: If you’re self-employed, an organisation you’re working with can get a standard, enhanced or enhanced with barred lists check for you, where the role is eligible.  Individuals needing an enhanced DBS have to use an umbrella organisation – click here to access the government info on this
Government Recommended Organisations that will help you
These organisations will do it for you and you pay for that service
MAYFLOWER have been used by a few people
FOR THOSE WHO NEED THIS INFO: Relevant Rehabilitation periods

DBS Check

An employer or an individual person may apply for a DBS check. Further information is available on the UK government website at: This includes how you can find out what level of DBS you may need and has a link to apply for a basic check for yourself.

You can use other services, such as  which is an independent service not affiliated to the Government, or if you are an employer, you may be able to register with a company such as:

For both standard and enhanced checks from 28th November 2020 a change was made such that childhood cautions are no longer disclosed, and a rule that meant someone with more than one conviction had all their convictions disclosed, regardless of offence or length of time, has been abolished. For further information on this please see:

The Disclosure Calculator

The Disclosure Calculator is a web tool that can be used to find out when a criminal record becomes spent under the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act 1974 (ROA). This applies to England and Wales

There is an article which goes into detail here about  Disclosure of police intelligence on enhanced checks (approved information)

To find out what information about you is on the Police National Computer

You have the right to access to information held about you on the Police National Computer (PNC).  Information provided under subject access is for personal use only and cannot be used for other purposes. To know what the police hold about you you make an application through this page


A Forensic Psychiatrist with special interest in Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), wrote: Deficits in social communication and fixed interests can lead to people getting involved with the Crimigal Justice System. However ASD in itself is not a defence for criminal activity.

Twenty minute self-compassion meditation by Kristin Neff

The Self-Compassion Break – This is a short guided meditation that can be done in a moment of difficulty or struggle, or simply throughout the day to stay grounded and compassionate. It brings you all the benefits of self-compassion in only 5 minutes and is easy to learn how to do without guidance. The core phrases of this practice are: This is a moment of suffering (Mindfulness). Suffering is part of life (Common humanity). May I be kind to myself in this moment (Self-kindness). May I give myself the compassion I need (Self-compassion).

Sentencing Guidelines for Sexual Offences UK

Information About Prison Regimes

To restrict access to Porn Sites

There is a programme called Covenant Eyes to help people quit porn.   .  You can agree to a list of the sites you visit being sent to a designated person – partner/person/friend who can keep an eye on your web usage with you.  It seemed a useful deterrent.  The programme monitors and analyses what you look at on the screen and then flags concerns to the designated person.

Suggested Packing List for Prison

Suggested prison packing list   Thanks to the person who put this together, it was on another website. The person said, “He wasn’t allowed everything at his first high category prison, but most of it was accepted when he moved to a lower category.  It was winter when he went in and he didn’t take in any summer clothes.  After the first month he was not allowed to have clothes sent in and for anything missing he either had to wear prison clothes or order through the canteen system.”  This may vary from prison to prison.  Another person said, “Toiletries may be removed at the Court & not returned, so just pack very basic toiletries.  Ensure they have cash – this can be added to his personal prison account so (s)he can buy things like toiletries, puzzle books, tea bags etc.  Electrical items such as a shaver, clock, small radio will not be allowed in  – but they can purchase the items from the shop once there – although these items take some time to be delivered.  Take pens – but don’t take any with springs (because they could be used as weapons!)

Reoffending Rates for People who Have Committed Sexual Offences are Very Low

This is a quote from an email sent to Juliet Grayson by Karl Hanson who has spent a lifetime researching this.  He said:  “Out of 100 individuals released from a sexual offence conviction in the UK, between 2 and 3 will be reconvicted for another sexual offence within 2 years, and 97 to 98 will not.  If the follow-up period is extended to 4 years, an additional 2 to 3 individuals will be reconvicted, bringing the 4 year sexual reconviction rate to 5.5%.  In other words, if 100 individuals with a sexual offence conviction are followed for 4 years, 5 or 6 of these will be reconvicted for a sexual offence and 94 to 95 will not. These figures are from the attached article (p. 454).These figures are similar to rates found in other countries during the past 10 – 15 years”  This is validated by the2010 An examination of the Risk Matrix Study.    Juliet notes more about reoffending rates here Reoffending Rates for Sex Offenders

Useful Information from the College of Policing: Major investigations and public prosecutions – risk

Risk and associated investigations

Reassessing Risk: Release from the Sex Offender Label

In relation to risk over time, Karl Hanson reported his findings from an extensive literature review of studies looking at a total of 543,204 sex offenders.  This showed that for every five years that a sex offender remains offence-free in the community, the likelihood of them re-offending is cut by half.  Hanson believes this is due to the following factors: effective psychological interventions that reduce risk, the effects of physical ageing such as a decline in testosterone levels, increasing rewards from living a prosocial life, success at work, rewarding leisure activities, decent friends, caring intimate partner, and learning to become interdependent (rather than being isolated as many are when younger).  So if risk is 20% when you leave prison, if you make it for 5 years you are 10% risk, and if you make it for 10 year you are a 5% risk.  Karl Hanson: Reassessing Risk 2017  Reasessing risk hanson2017_Release from sex offender label

OCD Obsessive Compulsive Thoughts

The Internet Porn Tree: A poem by someone who struggled


Help Wanted is an online course to provide help to individuals attracted to younger children.  Our goal is to give you some tools to support your commitment to living a safe, healthy, non-offending life.

Self help guides
Alcohol and you
Anxiety for people in prison
Controlling Anger
Depression and low mood
Depression and low mood for people in prison
Domestic violence
Eating disorders
Food for thought
Health anxiety
Hearing voices
Obsessions and compulsions
Post traumatic stress
Post traumatic stress for people in prison
Postnatal depression
Shyness and social anxiety
Sleeping problems

More self help guides here

Mental Health and Wellbeing


The Specialist Treatment Organisation for Perpetrators and Survivors of Sexual Offences has over 150 therapists across the UK who are trained to work with peopel who are struggling with sexually inappropriate thoughts or behaviours.  There is also therapy for family members of (potential or actual) offenders.  There is an online helpline for family members of sexual offenders.  StopSO offers training to therapists about how to work with sexually harmful behaviour.  There is an online support group for professionals who work in the field of sexual offending.  StopSO offers therapy for survivors of sexual abuse.   Juliet Grayson was a co-founder of StopSO and Chair from 2012-2019.

Safer Society Free Podcasts

Free Podcasts: Topics such as “Applying the Good Lives Model with Teenagers”, “Women Who Sexually Abuse”, “Vicarious Restorative Justice with Sexual Abusers”, “Promoting Social Skills in Adolescents”, “The #MeToo Movement”, “Family Therapy with Sex Offenders”, “Helping Families of Children and Teens with Sexual Behaviour Problems”, “Healthy Sexuality and Teens with Intellectual Disabilities”, “Applying the Risk Need Responsivity Principles in Practice”, “Motivation, The Good Lives Model, and Trauma Informed-Care”, “Adolescent Treatment Guidelines”, “ROSAC Risk Assessment”, and “Trauma Informed Care”.

Troubled Desire

TROUBLED DESIRE offers Online-Self-Management for people who feel attracted to children and early adolescents and don’t have the chance to get in real contact with therapists.

Seeking help for illegal online sexual behaviour?

Help and information and support for people wanting to change their illegal online sexual behaviour involving children, including those who view sexual images of children, and those who communicate sexually with children. We also support their families and friends, helping people cope with difficult emotions, and the professionals who work with these groups.

StopItNow! USA Advice Column

A comprehensive guide to low self esteem including resources

Get Help: CBT (this is not specifically about sexual offending).

But is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

Modifying a  SOPO?

Experience of two people here 

Treating Pedophilia

The Psychology In Seattle Podcast (podcast)
Click here to listen

Female Paedophile: You may call me Emma. I am a woman, approximately 30 years old, and I am a pedophile. Yes, really.

Click here to read article called: A Strange and Terrible Unicorn

Laura, A female paedophile, writes the letter she wishes she’d read when realising she was a paedophile

Click here to read article called: Peonies in the Toy Box

For those dealing with issues around pornography

For Virtuous Paedophiles: Virped

Our website is intended to reduce the stigma attached to pedophilia by letting people know that a substantial number of pedophiles DO NOT molest children, and to provide peer support and information about available resources to help virtuous pedophiles remain law-abiding, and lead happy, productive lives.

Paedphiles writing about pedophilia

Kairos Changement Programme: A Treatment Programme for sex and porn addiction online – on demand

The Kairos Changement Programme has been instrumental in helping hundreds of people, just like you, recover from sex and porn addiction. Consequently, based on our clients experience, we recognise the need to access the programme wherever and whenever. As a result we are proud to present the world’s first fully comprehensive Webinar Series…from £295 (NB Juliet get’s nothing from recommending this programme. She has not seen or tried out the actual programme, but knows the man who designed it who is a good guy!)


For Minor Attracted People.   B4U-ACT was established in 2003 as a 501(c)(3) organization with the following purposes:
-To publicly promote services and resources for self-identified individuals (adults and adolescents) who are sexually attracted to children and seek such assistance
-To educate mental health providers regarding the approaches helpful for such individuals
-To develop a pool of providers who agree to serve these individuals and abide by B4U-ACT’s Principles and Perspectives of Practice
-To educate the public regarding issues faced by these individuals

MoodGYM:  this is no longer a free of charge service

MoodGYM is an interactive program designed to help you:
– Identify whether you are having problems with emotions like anxiety and depression,
– Learn skills that can help you cope with these emotions.

MoodGYM is based on two programs which are successful in preventing and treating depression and anxiety. These are: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Interpersonal Therapy.

It is an Australian government site but open to the whole world. You have to register. It came highly reccommended from some one who had struggled with sexually inappropriate behaviour.

Self deception, self delusion and denial

Here is a really useful and interesting series of articles by James Lawley and Penny Tompkins.

Interesting stuff! Have a read. Let me know if you use it and it helps you

Self Nudging

And one on self nudging…rather than setting goals how can one work to tip the odds in favour of my self achieving something..and incorporate the feedback if it doesn’t work, to increase the likelihood of it working next time.

Lovely work on Self Compassion by Kristin Neff

Website on self compassion with lots of resources: Kristin Neff

An article on the neurobiology of self compassion By Kristin Neff

Finding Children Sexually Attractive: By Sarah Goode

This booklet is for anyone who finds that they are sexually attracted to children. In it, people talk in their own words about their own experiences and provide advice on how to handle this situation.  I hope you will find this booklet encouraging, helpful and inspiring! Click here to download the booklet “Finding Children Sexually Attractive” Sarah Goode

The Ultimate Guide for Protecting Your Child on the Internet


Respond: Works with people with learning difficulties 

They have a unit that works with young people with learning difficulties or autism, who have sexually harmful behaviours

They also work with adults who have learning difficulties or autism, who display sexually harmful behaviour

StopSO: The Specialist Treatment Organisation for the Prevention of Sexual Offending:

A UK wide charitable organisation designed to help sex offenders stop their offending behaviours: by preventing sexual offending through therapy.